Hello? Wait… where are you?

I’m guessing I’m not the only one.  I can’t be.  Here’s the setting…..  it’s 9:15am and you have finished your cup of coffee (or third cup of coffee) and the time has come for a potty break.  You stroll into the porcelain palace for a quiet moment of privacy and relief.  Then, out of nowhere, “yeah Bob, I think we should be able to get there around noon.  No, I haven’t talked to him in forever but I know we’ll be able to pick up where we left off…..”.  Humm.  He isn’t talking to himself is he?  Are there voices in his head competing for his attention?  Nope.  There, blinking in blue wonder is the BLUETOOTH ear piece that delivers the sounds of his voice, his zipper, some flowing water, some flushing, more sounds that are just yuck and everything that should otherwise be left off the Verizon network.

Are you kidding me?  There are so many things wrong with this.

One.  You don’t know the person on the other end of the phone call THAT WELL and shouldn’t believe a bathroom phone chat is acceptable.

Two.  You aren’t so important that you need to leverage every possible minute of the day in “productive” mode. 

Three.  You CAN hear what’s going on in there and I’m guessing your guest on the other end of the phone really doesn’t need to hear what happens in stall #3.

Four.  I never want to borrow your phone.

Of course I could continue down the list of why you are a complete tool for having a phone conversation during potty time, but for those Restroom Rebels, I don’t think it would matter.  I’m guessing these types of people are also the ones that drive with their tiny dog “Muffy” on their lap.   They probably are the loud laughers at the restaurant table right next to you… you know the kinda laugh that is followed with a “WHOA” or snort of some kind.

We might actually be able to divide the world into two type of people…  Restroom Rebels and those with principles.  I’m here to ask that you not be a Restroom Rebel.  Stay strong America.  We are a society of cleaner, classier and smarter people.  Be warned of the phones out there which have been exposed to the elements….by no fault of their own, but they are out there.  Take caution when helping out your rebel buddy with installing an app, managing his contacts or anything that requires your hands on the device that has seen the inside of stall #3.