What will we do without Oprah?

First it’s this whole ‘Rapture’ thing that has everyone on edge… well, at least those that have pet rocks named Frank, struggle with application of ketchup to a hot dog and seem to bonk their noggins a little more frequently than the rest of us.  Now, the clock has struck “See Ya” for Oprah.  A nation that has followed her interviews, book clubs and celebrity guests will search for answers on Thursday morning.  A nation will wonder what they should read, who they should follow on Twitter and how they are supposed to talk to their children without her guidance and wisdom.

So here is where any Oprah followers start to bad-mouth me and wish for bird droppings to find their way to my clean car.   Oprah is GONE!!  Cue the celebrations and festive music.  Bust out 34 lbs of macaroni and cheese!  Hop up on the couch and jump around like a mad scientologist!!!  The day has come for rejoice and freedom!!!!

I know, I know…. She has truly done some amazing things with her celebrity and  her wallet.  I won’t challenge that some good has come from her presence and she has influenced some for the better and helped many that couldn’t help themselves.  There.  I’ve said some nice things that will hopefully result in some birds missing their target (see car reference above).   But now I get to share with you my thoughts… hold on tight…

Oprah is a fake.  She has convinced her ‘Oprah cult’ that she is genuine and pure.  Boo.  Her interviews are self-indulgent and filled with Oprah moments and control.  She is a powerhouse resulting from incredible marketing power and a following of moms, sisters and BFFs that drink up all the guidance she spoon feeds.  I find it very convenient that media is just readily available and prepared for the massive charity events.  Great that she’s making change for people – but why does there need to be a media blitz around it?  I think the genuine heroes are those that do things for people, countries, charities, etc while remaining quiet.  No need for the ego pump and audience approval/ratings, just doing great things quietly.

I have accidently found myself stuck on the channel that delivers the Oprah experience, and can’t believe her reactions and emotions are truly heart-felt.  She’s an actress that has the ability to cry when she is supposed to, laugh where she needs to laugh and give that “engaging” peer into the audience.  To make certain that her followers are truly following, she gives them little gifts – “You get a car, you get a car, you get a car…” or the Travolta led flight to Australia.  You think that is just cause she’s a nice person, or might there be some interest in sticking those cool, unsuspecting Australians with the Oprah epi pen that fills them with the oh-la-la’s?

Another thing to consider…. Isn’t this the woman who gave us Dr. Phil and Rachel Ray?  Ouch.  I think I’d rather have a mysterious itch and four noses on my face then have to sit through a Phil lecture or Rachel feast.  Come on now!

I have quit grocery shopping as I simply can’t’ make it through the line without The O mocking me from the cover of her magazine.  (yes wife, that is why I can’t grocery shop).  I know she has a new network all to herself and I have called my cable provider, offering to pay an additional monthly fee to ensure that channel is blocked from my programming.  In fact, I’m in discussions for an anti-Oprah network all of my own.  Yep, think I might call it “O Yes I Did!”.

So tomorrow we shall celebrate.  Join me with a raise of the glass when the regular timeslot for the Oprah show is instead playing ‘Alice’ reruns.  A great day for the nation.  To the Oprah followers that will be wearing black and kicking around an empty can…. Stay positive.  Read what you want to read.  Time will return your own thoughts to you.  Stay confident knowing that you truly can navigate this crazy world without the couch control of Ms. Winfrey.  

Toodle-loo Oprah!

Kids Sports – What to do??

               

I don’t know about where you live, but here in the Denver area, youth sports is extreme. 

As a father, I want to do what is best for my boys and make sure they are given every opportunity to whip someone’s butt on the field or the court.  I want to be the supportive, informative, encouraging, challenging and their biggest fan.  I think I have all of those check marks in place.  Still, I’m reaching a point with my oldest (11) where some kids are starting to peel off and become one-sport dudes.  What is that about?  Remember back in the day when we would walk right from the final football practice to the basketball gym to pick up our stuff and get up and down the court?  Then, from the gym to the diamond to get some BP in and join the baseball movement.  Are the days of three sport athletes a thing of the past?

Come on…  really?  Football teaches you pain, struggle, strategy and physical endurance.  It also teaches you that if you don’t wash your undershirt for a few weeks, when you pull it off the hook in your locker…. It doesn’t even move – stiff as a board.  Basketball gets your lungs developed.  It works the finer athletic movement.  Baseball, a game of patience and readiness that matures your hand-eye coordination.  All of these sports teaches strategy and teamwork.  So tell me, what is wrong with that?

In the Denver area, I’m learning there are “Baseball Kids”, “Lacrosse Kids”, “Hockey Kids”, etc.  I coach Pop Warner football in the fall and now I’m seeing that some kids are staying with a year round sport so they don’t fall behind.  Baseball kids are traveling all over the country, lugging around the custom Under Armor bat bag that is embroidered with their name and number.  Parents dishing out thousands of dollars a year in support of the kids’ dream…. Or is that a parents’ dream.  Are we trying to develop D1 athletes at 9, 10 and 11 years old?  Should we narrow the exposure to other sports in the name of scholarship?

I think not.

What about my son who plays lacrosse, football and baseball.  If he continues down that path, what happens when he rejoins his LAX buddies who do nothing more that LAX all year long?  Will he be behind in skill and talent?  Will he be able to compete?  From my seat – OF COURSE HE WILL!  He will lean on the drills, practices, discipline and skills developed in the other sports to offer something the one sport kiddos might miss out on.  How ya like that?  Also, what about burnout?  Will a little fella play a few seasons of nothing but baseball and then find that he is sick of it and simply can’t think about another handful of sunflower seeds?  Wishing that he would have been able to play some hoops or ski or anything else back when he had a chance to?

It is a tough question to answer and one that I keep asking myself.  I feel I have the right approach in my desire to expose my boys to anything and everything they want.  If the time comes where they have a significant passion for a sport and want to focus only on that sport… have at it.  I believe it’s the parents’ job to allow kids to be kids.  There is plenty of time for extreme competitive sports as kids mature and they only have one childhood.  But really, what do I know?

So with that, I’m guessing my kid can whoop your kid!  J  Only jokin’.

STOOPID Beer Commercials:

Normally I’m a fan of the beer commercials.  They are fun and usually feature some meaningless shots of girls in bikini’s, cool music to bob your head to or a good joke and laugh.  This time…. Well, I don’t know what the heck they are thinking.  The target?  Coors Light.

It isn’t bad enough that the beer is nasty and almost like purified cat urine?  Now, they have to put some label on there that does things.  Can the label do things that make the taste of what’s inside actually consumable?  That is another question and blog entirely.  This is about the label.  It started off with Coors light making the mountains turn from a white to a blue when the beer is cold.  I would question, “was the white on the label representing snow?”.  If so, turning to blue would mean that it’s actually warm enough to melt the snow and now it will taste like poop.  People shouldn’t need to rely on the Roy G Biv philosophy to determine when it’s safe to consume their beverage.

Then, if the mountains weren’t enough and to ensure they were reaching the most –fill in the gap - consumers possible (I held back there), they start putting the words on the label.  “Cold” and Super Cold” .  Really?  I was hoping when I first saw the commercial that it was a spoof on the already annoying blue mountains.  Nope.  It is the result of some highly paid marketing folks that are assuming their consumers struggle with their senses.  Who knows, maybe we will soon have scratch and sniff labels outside of bacon, soup and other menu items to help us determine just what it is.  I’m sure there are millions of people out there who can’t determine when something is cold.  If they can, then they must certainly need help in identifying SUPER COLD.  Come on man!  What’s next, we gonna see “ICE” as the third option?  So, the formula goes like this…. 

• Buy the beer
• Put in fridge
• Wait for blue mountains
• When blue mountains appear, read the first line of “Cold”
• Decide if “Cold” is actually cold enough
• If not, leave in fridge
• Return to fridge and wait for “Super Cold” to read through
• When you see “Super Cold” you can assume by this time you have blue mountains and the previous “Cold” already visible.
• If not, I fear you have poopy beer.
• If so… you still have poopy beer, but you can feel confident in consuming as they have adequately educated you on when you may consume.

 Friends, we really shouldn't need labels written in crayon, right?  Join with me and drink a real beer.  I don’t care what it is.. but pick one that treats you like an adult and doesn't smell of cat urine.

Great way to start the day!

Monday's are poop.  No way around it.  You are still trying to dodge the stench of too many Coronas and questioning the mysterious glitter that you can't seem to scrub off your forehead.  Still, Monday is there and unforgiving!

My Monday started off with an empty gas tank.  Empty to the point that it needed some immediate attention.  So, I pulled into the Sams gas stations closest to my house as they always have the best price.  No, I'm not a member there and don't see the .06 cent discount, but still it's cheaper than the other stations.  As I pull in, it's confirmed that the $3.61 is better than the stations in the hood, so I have made the right call.

I climb outta my vehicle, open up the gas cap and start fumbling through my wallet for my debit card.  Then, from across the way, this old fella is shuffling towards me with a "hi young man, how are you this morning?".  First off, love being called a young man as my back, knees and sudden identification of a possible bald spot reminds me that young is quickly vanishing.  I respond with a "So far, so good!  How are you doin'?".   He said, "i'm on the right side of the turf at 73 years old, so I think I'm doing pretty good!".  Gotta love that response.

As I remove my debit card with the old fella working at the station, he tells me, "hold off young fella, gas is too expensive and I'm gonna give you a discount.".  He then takes HIS membership card and slides it into the reader where it greets us both with a message on the screen proclaiming my .06 cent per gallon discount.  Word!

I thank the man and he says, "next time you're here just holler out, RAY - I need that discount!".  As he shuffled over to the car that was parked next to me to repeat the feat, I filled my tank with a smile on my face.  For the briefest of moments I was reminded of the good 'ol days.  I imagined how it might have been living next door to Andy Griffith and the way things were when courtesy and kindness were present.

I mean, RAY could have just kept his 73 year old body inside of his little station and away from the early morning Denver breeze that carried a bit of a nip.  Yet instead, he opted to get out and help.  Little does Ray know that he didn't just save me .78 cents that day, he reminded me that there is still some of the good stuff out there.  The kind of stuff we as a society need more of.  Kindness, interaction beyond hammering text on iPhones and looking out for one another.  It doesn't always have to be a rat race or competition... there is a time for that.  Hopefully we can remember that the good stuff should strongly overwhelm the nasty and each of us contributes to that effort.  We all need to have more Ray in us!

So, thanks Ray!  Rock on and I will see you in another week or so for that discount!