STOOPID Beer Commercials:

Normally I’m a fan of the beer commercials.  They are fun and usually feature some meaningless shots of girls in bikini’s, cool music to bob your head to or a good joke and laugh.  This time…. Well, I don’t know what the heck they are thinking.  The target?  Coors Light.

It isn’t bad enough that the beer is nasty and almost like purified cat urine?  Now, they have to put some label on there that does things.  Can the label do things that make the taste of what’s inside actually consumable?  That is another question and blog entirely.  This is about the label.  It started off with Coors light making the mountains turn from a white to a blue when the beer is cold.  I would question, “was the white on the label representing snow?”.  If so, turning to blue would mean that it’s actually warm enough to melt the snow and now it will taste like poop.  People shouldn’t need to rely on the Roy G Biv philosophy to determine when it’s safe to consume their beverage.

Then, if the mountains weren’t enough and to ensure they were reaching the most –fill in the gap - consumers possible (I held back there), they start putting the words on the label.  “Cold” and Super Cold” .  Really?  I was hoping when I first saw the commercial that it was a spoof on the already annoying blue mountains.  Nope.  It is the result of some highly paid marketing folks that are assuming their consumers struggle with their senses.  Who knows, maybe we will soon have scratch and sniff labels outside of bacon, soup and other menu items to help us determine just what it is.  I’m sure there are millions of people out there who can’t determine when something is cold.  If they can, then they must certainly need help in identifying SUPER COLD.  Come on man!  What’s next, we gonna see “ICE” as the third option?  So, the formula goes like this…. 

• Buy the beer
• Put in fridge
• Wait for blue mountains
• When blue mountains appear, read the first line of “Cold”
• Decide if “Cold” is actually cold enough
• If not, leave in fridge
• Return to fridge and wait for “Super Cold” to read through
• When you see “Super Cold” you can assume by this time you have blue mountains and the previous “Cold” already visible.
• If not, I fear you have poopy beer.
• If so… you still have poopy beer, but you can feel confident in consuming as they have adequately educated you on when you may consume.

 Friends, we really shouldn't need labels written in crayon, right?  Join with me and drink a real beer.  I don’t care what it is.. but pick one that treats you like an adult and doesn't smell of cat urine.