Herding Cats...

Have you ever tried herding cats?  How about substitute teaching a kindergarten class?  Ummm, what about trying to build a sand castle at high tide?

If you have, and been successful, you would make a great youth football coach!   You see, I coach a youth tackle football team made up of 5 and 6 year olds and have to share some of the fun.  Every Monday and Wednesday, the little dudes gather at the practice field in preparation for battle on Saturday.  They arrive with smiles and in full pads.  Some of them weighing in at a whopping 42 lbs and a game face that has the remains of kool-aid and pudding from their afternoon snack. 

The first challenge comes when they start off practice with their lap around the field.  Of the 16 kids on the team, there will be at least half of them that fall over during the lap as a result of their helmet weighing them down and messing with their balance.  That lap takes about 5 minutes.  Practice gets going with some drills to enhance their football skills and includes running the football, tackling and blocking.  Apparently, these little guys have some challenges in locating the ball carrier as time and time again, the runner will “speed” past the defense as the defensive guy is either dancing with the kiddo blocking them or has lost interest and asking when practice is over… right in the middle of the play.  More work needs done on the concept of tackling the ball carrier. 

Then, there is the huddle.  Yes, seems like a pretty easy thing to conquer but when you have 5 and 6 year old kids that have the attention span of a gnat, it proves a challenge.  With each offensive player assigned a particular spot in the huddle, we still find there are voids and gaps in the huddle.  The guard is where the tight end should be.  The tight end has failed to join the huddle and is chasing a grasshopper.  The center is struggling with a runny nose that is leaking into his mouthpiece that he continuously forgets to put in his mouth.  When he does put it in, he puts it upside down and complains of discomfort.  After shifting the kids into the right spots in the huddle, we call out a play.  The holes are 2, 4, 6 and 8 on the right side of the center and 1, 3, 5 and 7 on the left side of the center.   Ahh, so the running back runs through the hole called.  Yep, makes sense.  With some of the kids struggling with this concept, I tell them to practice at home.  My recommendation is to write down the numbers on sheets of paper and put them on the floor of their bedroom so they can remember.  Soon after my recommendation, a little fella raises his hand and says. “coach, I can’t read!”.  Of course….  J

Game day rolls around and the boys look great in their uniforms.  They are excited for the game, or anxious to see what the halftime snack is, but either way… they look great in their uniforms.  As we line up to get the game underway, it’s apparent that we’re out-sized.  Our team average 45lbs and some of our opponents drive themselves to the game.  I think I saw one of the opposing players kissing his wife before taking the field.  The ball is snapped and their running back runs through our distracted defense and it’s 7-0.  Now we get the ball.  The huddle “forms”, yeah… when I saw “forms”, I meant that the coaches lift and shift the kiddos into the right spot.  Then the boys take the line and get in their 3 point stances.  HIKE.. the ball is snapped and our line instantly forgets how to block and stands straight up, allowing the defensive players that are sporting goatees to smash our little running back.  Just doesn’t seem right.  This goes on for two 22 minute running halfs.  Ouch.

As the game ends, the boys are happy.  They don’t care about the score… they have wiped away the tears that resulted from a boo boo in the first half.  They are excited they got to play football and now looking for the little Gatorade bottles and Nutter Butter cookie packs to seal the day.  When they look up at you with sweaty brows and grass stained pants…. Their little faces looking for a congratulatory speech…  ahh, makes it all worth it.  The kids might have got whooped on the field, but they are football players and they are proud to be.  Herding cats is tough.  It’s stressful and frustrating at times but these little dudes trying their hardest and enjoying the game for what it is – well, that is worth the price of admission!!!  So, I’m off to create this week’s practice plan which will include huddles, tackling, blocking and a handful of fun that puts a smile on their faces …  and certainly on the coaches faces as well!