Mystery Sunroof Attack!

Stunned.  Curious.  Mystified.

On Tuesday of this week, I entered my garage as I do every morning in preparation for making “The Man” look good.  I tote my laptop case and cup o Joe towards my car that is quietly resting in its place.  As I near the ride, I notice something on top of the car.  What in the #$(*&#$?????  As I squint to the seal that surrounds my sunroof, I notice it has been damaged.  Damaged in a way that is unexplainable!  There are some small pieces of the rubberized material sitting on the roof of the car and right next to the glass.  What in the ##$(*&$????? 

What could have caused this?  Was it a bird sitting atop the car that was pecking on the material?  Can’t be as the loose pieces would have flown off during my commute from here to there.  This happened while I was asleep and the car was parked in the garage.  Was it a mouse?  No… I mean, how could a mouse climb onto the top of my sweet ride?  Wouldn’t it slide off while trekking up the windshield or rear glass window?  Besides, there was no evidence of paw, claw, tail or otherwise present on the car.  Could the rodent be a fan of Tom Cruise movies and actually repelled from the roof as to not make their presence known?  Come on… that would take at least 3 mice to pull of such a stunt with all the cables and planning!

And what is so special about the rubber material that surrounds the sunroof?  My wife’s car that sits right next to mine is untouched!  Does my sunroof reek of an odor that is irresistible?  Again… what in the #$)(*)#$?????

So I chalked it up to some freak thing that nobody could ever explain.  I went through my day on Wednesday, repeating my usual routine filled with unnecessary meetings all day and football practice to end.  I parked in my spot as usual and called it a day.  As I started my Thursday in the same fashion as the day prior, I approach my car to find the same frickin’ thing has happened!!!  You gotta be kidding me!!  What in the #$#$()**?????  Again, I look all through the car, the trunk, the ceiling of the garage (inspecting for cables and tiny mouse gloves) and there is no sign of an attack beyond the little rubber pieces that are left on the roof.  Now it’s getting personal!

So before bed last night, I get out my materials in search of the sweetest revenge.  I have two of the sticky pads that encourage tiny assailants to hop on.  One on the floor and the other on top of my car next to the crime scene.  I then get the old fashioned wood-based trap that holds the tastiest of cheeses.  Yeah, it’s go time.  Go ahead and judge me for my tactics and call PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals).  I’m out for victory and closure.  Besides, the humane traps don’t work because they don’t mean business.  I set the scene and head off to bed with extreme anticipation for what I might find in the morning.

This morning, I grab my coffee and laptop bag and quickly make way to the garage.  Trap one with the cheap cheddar is empty.  Ugh.  Trap two is the sticky pad between the cars… empty.  Ugh.  Then, I glance to the top of my car and there is a raccoon asleep.  Just kidding.  That would scare the pee outta me!  The third trap was also empty.  The sunroof experienced no further violation during the night.  What in the #$#*($&#???? 

So, I’m thinking I will repeat my efforts from last night and hope I’m smarter than the criminal.  I want this thing done and I want to send a message.  I’m hoping that whatever is responsible for the damage is served sweet justice.  I want the message sent to any critter in my hood that things don’t play like that at my casa.  So, wish me luck as I battle the evil forces that seem to have it out for me and my transportation.  I shall be victorious (or be without an entire seal for my sunroof).  Stay tuned…..