Is ‘Survivor’ really still on?

 I was a fan in year one.  I even hung on for a smidge in year two.  But by year 47 (or whatever it is), I couldn't be further removed.  How in the heck is this show still on television?  Haven’t they stranded enough people out in the “wilderness”?  What else can you make the people do that would make viewers say to themselves… “huh, didn't see that one coming”.  I know there must be a handful of peeps out there who still tune in  - but WHY?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of the reality TV movement.  There is something special about sitting on the couch, watching strange people doing strange things.  Sure, there is some heavy scripting taking place here and there, but I can understand the draw of the American couch potatoes.  Survivor on the other hand, it’s like “The Nanny” reruns that you can’t help but fall into at 11:30pm.  They are everywhere, sticking to us like dog hair on newly pressed slacks! 

‘Survivor’ has simply run out of tricks.  We already know that there will be some tribes created and battle against each other for “Immunity”.  These challenges still involve the digestion of bugs, trouncing through the mud and obstacles.  Standing on planks for hours on end is not even as entertaining as watching a fat fella try and get into a hammock.  Heck, even the hot people that might lure you into the show, well, they don’t stay hot from beginning to end.  They lose about 40 lbs and start looking like that creepy dude from Lord of the Rings.  So what is the the draw? 

I think a few modifications to the format could lure me back in.  Maybe implement a UFC type challenge where these little weasels who back-stab and jilt their teammates have to pay the piper!  Yeah… they get called out for lying and have to take their 115 lb frames to a cage made of bamboo and dried bird poop and try not to die.  What about the addition of some real, live, dangerous animals.  They want to be in the jungle in the dark?  Let ‘em.  Release a tiger of some alligators into their camp.  Do it in the middle of the night and then toss some of that tasty Jack Links Beef Jerky in their sleeping bags!  Take ‘Survivor’ from more than just behaving like a snake to having to truly SURVIVE.  Yeah, that might actually cause me to tune in.  Americans can even create a Fantasy Survivor league where we pick a challenger at the beginning of the season and if they die, we lose.

There are so many alternatives to ‘Survivor’.  American Idol, House, The Nanny, Bones, Desperate Housewives (for the wife) and God’s gift to Television…  SPORTSCENTER!  That is what I’m talking about.  If you’re gonna plop your rump down for the boob tube, don’t waste the time on an outdated and overdone ‘Survivor’ – instead, catch up on the scores and highlights or enjoy Fran Drescher and her pleasant voice....