The obligatory drunk call...

You have made them, or you have received them.... or both.  There's something in each of us that feels this incredible need to reach out to our friends and family when the libations have been a flowin'.  Sure, if we were to wait a smidge and ask ourselves "should I really make this call?" we might chose not to pushing those tiny buttons on our mobile phones.  But when the time is then and the need is now... well, mobile phones take action.

Usually, the call happens when one or two people who just couldn't muster up the coolness to be at the event or location that those partaking numerous cocktails could.  So it's quite apparent that they deserve the call.  It doesn't matter the circumstance.  It can be 4:30 in the afternoon or 4:30 in the morning.  It can be from a house party or during an eventful stay in Vegas.  Doesn't matter from when or where - it just "needs" to happen!

I personally have been on both ends of the fun.  From the perspective of the call maker, I can tell you that there's a need to share the good times with those less fortunate.  A "quick" call to our friends or family to let them know what they are missing out on and questioning their priorities and their manhood.  Usually filled with laughter and slurring derogatory statements, the call can last for only a minute or last for ten.  You poke and prod at the target who is sitting at home, changing diapers or working on a special work project that just had to take 1st priority.  When you reach the victim, you are certain to rub in the fact that you have incredible amounts of glitter all over your clothes, or describe the awesomeness that is the game you're attending.  The goal - make the recipient of your call feel as though they are the biggest loser there is.  They, unlike you, aren't in the cool club.

On the receiving end of the precious communications, it's rough.  If you can learn of your buddies whereabouts prior to your favorite ringtone waking you from a deep sleep, you can prepare.  You can opt our of the jingle all together and choose a less intrusive SILENT mode on your phone.  Doing this will certainly result in the dodging of the personal jabs in live mode and force your buddies to voice mail.  This doesn't necessarily mean that things are better.  I have found that when the drunk dialer reaches vmail, the communications last longer and seem to get more personal.  I have reviewed voice mails from friends and family that are enjoying a "sick day" while at Coors Field.  I have learned of their Vegas action in the wee hours of the night/morning.  I've even had the opportunity to hear that "SUNSHINE" reports to stage 4.

I don't know if there is an expiration on the obligatory drunk call.  Meaning, I think my buddies and I will continue to jingle one another well into our elder years.  Sure, we might not be taking in the "SUNSHINE" that we did in our earlier years, but I imagine describing the process of trying to apply denture cream under the influence of Johnny Walker would make for a hilarious message.

So for those that make the call or those that take the call, know that the call is made with love (often times obvious through the number of references to love in the message).  It isn't that they/we hate you... it's that we care about you so much that we want you to know just how cool we are - and you aren't.